Amazing strength of my mother

Dear bloggers,

I write to you today with a heavy heart. A lot is on my mind every day, but today it's overwhelming. My family has been through hell the past year. Before I went to Spain, my mother had back surgery. She was supposed to take it easy and take care of herself until she can be better to work again (6 weeks). Well my mother, the Wonder Woman, goes back to work after four. I am not surprised at all. I expected this of her. The woman cannot sit still for long periods of time and feel useless.

I went to Spain April 10th, 2012 and 8 days later I received the news of my step-dad's hospitalization. Mom said he had colon cancer and they are getting ready to operate and insert a colostomy bag. I am going through all emotions at this point. I want to come back. I want to be with my family. I'm frantic and scared. Mother tells me to stay. I do, for her. My brother calls me the next day and lets me know that while they were operating on my step-dad, they found out that the cancer had progressed to his liver and it was diagnosed as Stage 4. Final Stage. Death?
I came back May 10th. My step-dad has become a skeleton. He's lost a lot of weight, cannot eat solid foods and has become a shell of a man he used to be. I graduated May 12th and saw a little glimpse of happiness.


Since May 2012, my step-dad has been battling with cancer. My mother has always been Wonder Woman, but this year she has been extraordinary. Not only does she take care of my step-dad and his difficulties, her full time job and part time job, she also takes care of my little 15 year old sister Anna and all the appointments for her horrible scoliosis, while making room for her own back appointments. She also worries about me, because now I have back troubles as well(since my car accident in August). This woman never stops, never eats and never sleeps, I am convinced. She is my hero. If I could provide things for her never to work again, I would in a heart beat. For right now, the only thing I can do is take some of the load off of her. Take Anna to her appointments, take step-dad to his. It hurts me to see her this way, but I know she won't stop.

To top things off, a few weeks ago, my step-father received an all clear of his cancer. My family was so happy. I was so happy. A week and a half ago, my step-dad ends up in the hospital with a high fever. Because he was a cancer patient, they have to test him for everything. So they do. They also decide to do another CT Scan. Today, results are in. Cancer is back...

I have nothing left to say. My best position right now is on my knees with my hands clasped in prayer.

Travel Bucket List

Hello my dear readers (the few I have- tell your friends about me)

I have for the past year (2012) talked about going to Spain, have went to Spain, updated you guys with all kinds of pictures and dreamed of going back. One day, I will marry some hot Latin lover and I will be back in my beautiful España forever to raise kids and walk down La Ramblas. Until then, I will stay here and dream.

That travel goal was completed in April, but it has pushed me to want to travel more! Anyone wanna take a trip with me? These countries or states are not in order. I will go anywhere I am able to. Also, if anyone has any places they would like me to investigate and put on my list, let me know!!

1. Italy (Rome, Tuscany region, Florence, Venice, Verona, Pisa)

2. Ireland (Dublin)

3. England (Winchester, London, Canterbury)

4. Australia (Sidney, Melbourne)

5. Austria (Vienna)

6. Mexico (Cancun)

7. Egypt (Cairo)

8. United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi, Dubai)

9. Germany

10. Canada

11. Saudi Arabia

12. India

13. Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

States:

1. Alaska

2. California

3. Hawaii

4. Florida

Until tomorrow, or the next day.

Toodles! :)

Geez..so sorry

My dear bloggers,

I am so sorry to leave you in the dark. It was like a bad break up. No phone call, no email, nothing. I didn't even shoot a text to say I will be MIA. This happened for no particular reason. I have just been spending a lot more time with the boyfriend, my friends and family that I completely forgot about this other internet personality that I have. Usually the reason I blog is because something is troubling me in the the real world and I find peace through my written - or in this case typed - words. Lately, nothing has been troubling me.

But, never the less, I cannot and will not disappoint so I will update you guys on a bit of my life since the last time I posted.

Health: My weight is now 139lb. I am so happy about losing all of this weight. It's like a small child has been lifted off of my shoulders. Back is messed up, but that's another story.

Friends: Some came back into my life that were much needed.

Job: Still working and paying bills, but have my resume building for teaching. It's time to take action and stop wasting my life.

Love life: improving every day. I am learning new tricks to this game that I had not known before. I am a stubborn child of two divorced parents, trust me, I needed to learn a few things. Who knows?

For this picture, I should get the girlfriend of the year award (according to my best friend) because I managed to surprise him. Of course, two weeks from the show I had to tell him because I was too excited myself and couldn't contain my happiness any longer.

We went and had a great time. Also, the much needed alone time was a boost to our relationship as well. Maybe one day he will find out just how much he means to me. Or I'll choke him. Whichever works.

On a more serious note, or however serious I can get, let's chat about my blog. I want to give this blog some direction. So far it's been my own little personal corner of irks, pains and love. Maybe a little bit more fashion added to it? Or maybe crafts, which I used to do and have not found the time for anymore? I keep starting things and never finishing them. I have to stop that. Immediately!

If you have suggestions, do not be afraid to let me know. 

Toodles!

Motivation

Hello my dear friends and readers,

It's been a long time coming. I've been saying "I'm too old" for so long that I started to believe it, but the fact is I am not "too old" to do anything. I just outgrew some things. Going out seems fun to me, but drinking isn't anymore. Maybe this is a phase or maybe it's just part of life. I need to find other venues to make me happy and comfortable in my life like I have been throughout the years. For right now, my weight is my number one concern. I want to be fit. I want to be healthy. I have already blogged about this (here) so the ones who actually read my blogs know what I'm talking about.

Several of my friends have gotten on a health kick too. I don't know if it's from the constant talking about calories from me, or maybe they just decided to do it on their own. Here is some food for thought for all of those trying to get healthy. :)

This is very true. You need to accept yourself at any weight. Trust me, this is not an easy task! I sometimes look in the mirror and can give you 43503845 reasons why I dislike my body. I can maybe give you 4 why I love it. BUT, you need to accept it. Accept and love your flaws. They are a part of you. They make you unique. Accept, embrace and then change it if you don't like it.

 

I am not a nutritionist by any means but this seems like it's common sense. Fruits, veggies, and meats. Get rid of your sodas, your sugars, and your processed foods. Cut down on your carb intake, eat at a calorie deficit and you will lose weight. PERIOD. END OF STORY. It's a non fail attempt, only if you stick with it.     

This is simply food for thought. This should be your Bible of life.

Please remember: We are not here to get THIN. We are here to look and be healthy regardless what we're wearing OR not wearing. Size 0's are not the in thing anymore. Thick ladies rule the world. Embrace your curves.

I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH! Don't cut out your favorite foods, but don't eat it by the truckload. Live your life. Enjoy your foods. Make yourself happy. Eat that cheesecake piece. Don't eat the whole pie. Everything in life in moderation. This is the recipe for success, health, weight loss, happiness, love, money, etc.

So so so true! :) You are beautiful. Go out there and start your day.

This is for my gym goers. I went to the gym for 3 months to kick start my weight loss and I am going to be going again soon. This picture kept me going. Think about what it says and live by it. Soreness hurts, but regret hurts worse.

Here's a little hint

This is written to guide these poor shmucks we call men into the real execution of romance. Some of you think romance belongs in the physical world, but with women it's different. You have to satisfy her needs emotionally before you are able to breach the walls of any physicality. Personally speaking, I am not a hands-on person. I can be further into the relationship but to be touchy-feely at the beginning, I think it's too much and usually I run. Touchy-feely is supposed to build gradually. You cannot grope a woman and think she will fall for you. You can't be too annoying or she will eventually say "Enough". BUT, as a woman that enough doesn't mean enough for all time. It means while we are trying to get to know each other, I want to know you for you. When we fall in love, by all means, show the whole world I'm yours and I will be grateful.

Now, guys, what to do when a woman cries? To ignore it is the ultimate WRONG thing to do. She doesn't need you to fix the problem. She doesn't even need you to understand why she is crying (we all have issues for God's sakes). What she does need you to do is comfort her. Depending on your woman, you might have more of a win with holding her hand than hugging her. You have to know your woman and what she likes, but either way, physical contact when she feels upset is very important. She then knows you're there and she knows that she'll make it through. Don't be surprised if she pushes you away. Don't get your feelings hurt by that. She's feeling vulnerable, and if she is anything like me, she doesn't like that feeling. She doesn't like feeling like someone is pitying her, BUT the fact that you tried anything at all, goes a long way.

"You are beautiful."
"I am extremely happy to be with you."
"I cherish our moments together."
"You amaze me."
"You look amazing today."
"I am so glad you are mine."
"You make me happy."
"You complete me."
"You inspire me."
"I feel like the luckiest man alive for being with you."

These comments can make my day, my week, even my month! But don't say it unless you mean it. Don't be sweet because someone told you to be. Don't be romantic because you feel like you have to. Do it from your heart. Do it 120%, because the woman you're with deserves it. Do it because this woman makes you so happy and words cannot describe how you feel about her.

It is not enough to just love someone. That crap is for little girls who don't know any better. Love has to come with respect, trust, honesty, compassion, care, unselfishness, communication, and many other things. Saying I love you will make that person warm and fuzzy for a day. How about tomorrow? You can say it again, but eventually words will become unfit for description of your love for them. And then what? Here's a little hint. If you can't say it, how else do you communicate what you're wanting to say? Hmm..that's a tough one.  Maybe some flowers? Too cliche? How about a romantic dinner? That cliche too? How about a small gift; doesn't have to be expensive.

If you're one of these guys who thinks cute stuff is too cliche or too "p***y like for you to do, get off my blog now and go kill yourself.
Being a gentleman doesn't make you a p***y, it gets you p***y. Remember that.
So back on track. Go do something nice for the person you love. Don't get comfortable in the relationship. JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT THE WOMAN DOESN'T MEAN YOU NEED TO STOP CHASING HER!!! And if you have a real woman on your hands, she will do the same.

This is a neverending topic, so I will stop right here.

Maybe I'm too old to believe in fairy tales. Maybe. But, I know one thing. A love story may begin as a fairy tale, but will end as a true story. The reason I say this: no relationship is perfect. They will fight. They will disagree. They will argue til they feel like giving up. But they will love each other regardless and will fight every day to keep one another.There is no "I fell in love with you at first sight" or "I believe we're meant to be together". The world has changed. Relationships have changed. However, one thing remains true. As long as you're truly trying, there is no end in sight.