Kindness

This word has popped up a lot for me lately and it got me thinking. It's almost one of those "in" words now that are plastered on T-shirts, office walls and jewelry, but do we really participate in kindness? When was the last time you were kind? Are you only kind to certain people? How about being kind for no reason- when it didn't benefit you at all? Do you quantify kindness and think things like "I did it yesterday, I don't have to today"?

I've always been deep into language- maybe because I've had to learn 3 before my 12th birthday. Here is what the dictionary says about kindness --"the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate". Now, first thing I noticed was the and in the sentence which means being kind requires us to be 3 things at the same time. So in order for me to delve further into kindness, I now have to know what being friendly, generous and considerate means. Definitions of each :) You're welcome!

Friendly- Behaving in a pleasant, kind way towards someone.

Generous- Giving or willing to freely give more of something, as money or time, than is strictly necessary or expected.

Considerate- always thinking of other people's wishes and feelings.

WOW! That sounds like a lot of work, doesn't it!? It is. That's why only special people do it and they do it well. They almost feel like magic or sunshine, as I like to say it. They are the ones you don't have to teach how to love you. They show up. They do. They don't ask and they don't wait to be asked. They see a need, and they fill it. Those are your people- and often we have to be in the muck, the yuck, the stink, the funk, the down and dirty to see who those people truly are and that sometimes sucks. It also stinks to hope for it from certain people and not have that need met. Sucks. But this post is about kindness, and I am going to kindly finish it. 

Be kind to someone today and ask them to pay it forward. THE WORLD NEEDS IT! YOU NEED IT! I NEED IT! WE NEED IT!!!!

Blog Day 1- Five ways to win your heart

Hello, my dear readers. It's been a while. Life has been on the up and up lately in most areas and down in others. That is to be expected because...life. It would be boring otherwise and as cliche as it sounds, I just take it day by day. Anyway, I decided a little while back that I was going to do a blog challenge and here it is. Day 1. I am trying to get back to my writing because I have been gone for so long and my block feels like it has been lifted to a point.

Eventually we will get into the daily gripes and conversations, but for right now the topic is "Five ways to win your heart"? So, I am thinking this post could go two ways. I can share the five ways to win my heart or I can emphasize five "ways" that should be taught to little boys in order to win a woman's heart. Period.

Well, if we are talking about my heart, that is in a lot of places lately. All good, no complaints here. I am content with the way my heart life is going. Both literally and figuratively speaking, that is. Wink wink, nudge nudge. And if we are talking about the five ways that should be taught is simple. Teach them chivalry, integrity, kindness, empathy and responsibility. The end.

As for mine..

1. Pay attention
2. Acknowledge my furry kiddos
3. Plan a date
4. Kindness
5. Honesty

Because I don't know what to say lately

Different America experience

I woke up today, watched the news and cried. I wish the mother-ship would come and take me home  where the world is peaceful and we aren't killing each other because we have different skin colors, or religions, or interests, etc. I don't understand why it's always "us against them". I don't understand why we can't just look at each other like two human beings in this sad world of ours full of injustice anyway. We all have our own America story. We all have our own experience. None of us live in a perfect world and we all have our trials and tribulations.

I wonder why we can't just get along or move along if we don't. I don't understand... It makes me sad. It upsets my soul. I hope it bothers you. I hope you know that if you feel a little danger, a gun is not the first thing you need to pull to disable the danger. A danger that may not end up being a danger at all but because you've been conditioned to believe that someone a little darker than you is an immediate threat. A danger that may have children at home, waiting for him to get home from the grocery store. A danger that is a man in this shitty world just like you are.

So that's how my Sunday began. I wonder what your America experience is. I always call on my readers to write me, and none of you do. But as much as some of you troll on FB and type your opinion where it doesn't matter, why don't you type it somewhere where it may? Like starting difficult conversations about your version of America and sharing it with someone who isn't like you? This world isn't puppies and sunshine. We aren't alone, but everyone is scared to care. And hey..I get it. If your world and your American dream isn't working out and you're bitter..I get it. I've been there and am there on some days. We can still chat about it.

Life is one. My enjoyment and disdain at the same time is sorting through myself, and no one wants to look in the mirror and analyze. Self-analyze. That's scary. We all want to believe we're good, kind, happy and that we try. So do it today. Go to that place of hurt. Understand it. Cry about it. Drink or smoke through it. But understand it. Be honest with yourself to admit when you are wrong, when you've said something racist, sexist or any kind of ism/t that represents your differences from someone else - but admit it. Admit it to yourself. Have that hard conversation with yourself and then find someone else and start it again. Keep working through it, because hate and fear were taught. Our way of "seeing differences" first was instilled by someone, somewhere in our lives; don't be afraid to admit they were wrong!!!




P.S. This was a backdated post from about two weeks ago and finished today. Thankfully it's not Sunday yet.

What we are meant to be will be

Who did you dream of being as a child? An astronaut exploring space, a nurse wanting to save lives or a teacher who helps students get off the street? What was your ultimate success story while you were an innocent human not knowing what troubles lie ahead?
I wanted to be a lawyer. Actually, no, let me rephrase that. My parents thought I could argue with anyone over anything. They thought I should be a successful lawyer forever arguing my life away. And, so as an 11 year old little girl in a foreign classroom, on career day I decided to look up the curriculum for a lawyer. I saw 6 years of school and thought "I barely know English. There is no way in hell!" Little did I know that I would grow up to love school and imagine myself as a lifetime learner. Now, if I could only get the government to grant me a career as a lifetime student. I mean, they let anyone be president nowadays. For agent orange's fan club, just *insert snarky comment and get off my blog*..for everyone else - "thank you and keep reading".
So, as I grew up I wanted to be a counselor. My 6th grade counselor Ms. E helped me so much that I would like to donate my time and sanity to some children and advise them about life. I mean all we need in life is some TLC and some time with our loved ones. When we grow up, we add people in our lives for short or long periods. It is up to us and them how long they stay and often, they leave us with a companion for life or just a lesson for future experiences.
I went to college and finished for Elementary Education. I had to first teach in the state of KY as an intern and I panicked. I also had a witch for a mentor teacher and she made my life a living hell. She was also very mean to the children, including her own, but no names shall be mentioned. So, I had to teach with a mentor Satan observing me and I panicked. I signed up for graduate school now and am still searching for myself. 
So, as I often ask of you, my dear readers, is usually to share something about your life. No worries. You won't be public. Your answers will help me fuel more people to talk and stop using Facebook as their counseling service. I would like to know what you wanted to be in life? Whether a mom, a sailor, or a truck driver. If you ended up being anything else, I would like to know that as well. I would even go as far as asking what your hobbies are or what you're good at? We often do not run in the directions to make our hobbies our careers, but if you have, I wanna KNOOOOOW!

What we are meant to be is written in the stars and planned just for us? So that would make us puppets and regardless what choices we make, they are leading us to something regardless of what we want or what path we take? If you're Christian, you believe we are made in God's image and that we have free will. So does that mean God had depression and anxiety? That makes sense why he rested on the 7th day.

If you would like to share your religious beliefs as well, we can make that next post topic. I prefer you being honest and respectful.

Ok! The End.

Thoughts of Stitch- Day three

 He won't stop looking at me and every time I look at him, he tries to meow at me or jump like he's all that and a bag of chips. I feel like he is constantly undermining me like "Try me!"



His cockiness amazes me. He is so rude to mom, who feeds him by the way and he treats grandma like he's king of the house. He is not. I own this. And them. So, we woke up this morning at 6 am. Mommy was sweaty and woke up in a panic. She was okay a few minutes later when she walked through the hallway to let me go potty. We woke grandma up and we were all late getting ready; but we all made it on time to work. I, of course, stayed home. I'm only 2.5. So Oreo and I were finally alone. Oh, how I am going to chase the heck out of this cat. It's going to be an all day process.

It's a beautiful day outside and I think this is lunch time. Mommy is home from work!! I hope she stays. I think this is where she stays home. I'm pretty sure she isn't going anywhere because she looks exhausted.

And she is off again. I'm sure when she comes back, aunt Anna comes with her. I'll wait and see if all three come home at the same time. Oreo has been quiet but that's because he is dead asleep on the couch. He snores when he is comfortable and happy. 

Oh wait! Mommy is home! I am so excited. She let me outside and I stepped off the porch. I immediately took off after the squirrel down the road. Mom yelled and yelled, but soon I couldn't hear her anymore. By the time I came back, mom had gotten in her car and circled the block. I apparently was gone too long. 

After a while, Anna, Rachel and Dee Dee came over. They all looked so pretty; they smell amazing, too. They sat and talked for a little bit, while mommy drew a little. They had to go back to work for a little bit, but were back soon after. Mommy put on a movie, and everyone was laughing and laughing. I am so happy I can't stand it. Everyone pays attention to me, calls me cute and praises me when I do something silly. 

Mommy is getting pretty tired and I think everyone is about to leave. They're making their way outside and I am let out to pee. I can't wait to go to bed. She's exhausted and I am tired too. I just want to cuddle and sleep right next to her. Last night, I kept hearing noises and had to keep watch.

Good Night from Stitch and family.

Saturday

Please someone explain to me why I am up at 6:34 am on a Saturday when I can sleep until noon regardless of what I have to do today. Lately, I've been blogging in my own head at my own risk and I am not sure if you've ever done that but it looks a little like ..

So ...

Help. Me.

I need to let it out. I painted a little the other day with a friend of mine and I forgot how good that felt. I am screaming inside my own head just like the girl in my cover photo. Which reminds me, I have to change the damn name of this blog and the cover as well. Any ideas? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Work is the usual hell. Nothing new there. New things are happening though. Changes are coming and we shall see if that's great or defeating.

And I am always like....--------------->>>>>>>>

And I get a kick out of people asking me why I am still single. And then I think about every guy I talk to and I giggle. I tell them that I need someone who can handle my kind of crazy after they learn my kind of crazy and then make a grown up decision whether to handle it for a longer period of time, if not forever.

BEST RUN ON SENTENCE EVERRR! 

Just a thought. If I decided to be a boy, would you still love me? What if I lost everything and had to pull a Drake and start from the bottom. What if I had anxiety and depression but I high maintain and need you sometimes to unpack with me? What if I was okay and you were not; would I do the same for you? With my whole being.

Toodles.

Kick off Anti-Valentine's with 14 ?s

1. Something you're currently worried about? Not worried as much as annoyed by this stupid pinched nerve that I'm suffering from as a cosmic fuck you from karma because I did something naughty. That's a story for another time in another life.

2. Your opinion on cheating on people? Okay well. I have been on both sides of this. I have been cheated on and I have cheated on, and I have been the one they cheated with. It all depends on each situation although the act itself can be in many forms. It doesn't only take a sexual act to be considered cheating, in my opinion. Variances of cheating is still cheating. Either way, here's what my opinion is. It's bad. It probably will feel great. Your conscience, if you have one, will show you whose bitch you are. And if you are a good, decent or even semi okay in that you-don't-want-to-kill-anyone human , you will feel like shit. So don't feel like shit. If you're in a situation that isn't making you happy, bail. Don't cheat.
BUT here is my example...when I cheated, me and bf were already on the ends and the guy and I had a short term relationship while the bf and I were broken up and a few weeks of us getting back together. I justified it in my head, tried to improve my relationship, didn't work and moved on.  When I was cheated on, that was the most horrific pain I ever felt. He did it with his ex, made me think I was crazy and then told me over a text message while right upstairs in our apartment. How's that for brutal? When I was the one they cheated with, I was single. They pursued me. We pursued each other. It was magical and I forever would have wished he be mine until I learned he was a pure creep. It was one time. 

3. A date you recently went on? To a comedy club. Joey Diaz was there performing. We drank, we smoked, we laughed the whole night. We kissed, many times. We looked into each other's eyes. We just enjoyed each other's company. And I drove away.

4. 5 ways to win your heart? Do something spontaneous. Make my black heart smile. Bring me coffee. Bring me food. Make me try something new.

5. A picture of yourself? 

6. Your current relationship; or if single, discuss how single life is? Single. I get as much attention as a white crayon. I also get touched as much as a Christmas sweater. Life is great. It's just great. I'm great.

7. Somewhere you'd like to visit? Bora Bora.

8. Your favorite song? Nothing else matters by Metallica. November Rain by Guns N Roses, Hotel California by Eagles.

9. Your 5 senses right now? Hear- Grace and Frankie on Netlix Smell- Cigarette smoke Feel- Stitch licking me See- my hands on the keyboard Taste- Cookie Dough minis

10. What do you collect? Pens. Scars. Issues.

11. Why do you blog? Vent. Ideas. Dreams. Inspire. Make people laugh or smile.

12. A photo of your favorite place to eat? 13. Describe your day? Went in to work later, worked even later, came home and started blogging while I still had the motivation.

14. Who is your spirit animal? Snoop Dogg. And his supply of cannabis.