Spirituality 3.0

I'm going to be real honest here and tell you that I have set the Bible down. It's been sitting on my coffee table last two weeks just looking at me. I have made it to Numbers. When I decided to read the Bible cover to cover, I knew it was going to take a lot of focus for several reasons. I wasn't a huge history nut when I was younger, I watched my family do dumb shit and justify it with celebratory Catholicism and was made fun of for going to church and Sunday school. So.. not a big fan of religion already and then I come to the US and saw all the money poured into churches but not homeless shelters, and I had enough. Religion just has never been my cup of tea, and I was familiar with a few of them; while I believed a little of each I just never belonged in any single one. I was a little bit Catholic, with a hint of Muslim and a pinch of Jehovah's witness, and add some Buddhism 101 on the side. 

Fast forward to now, I have searched long and hard until I reached spirituality which to me was believing in all of the religions, in all of the Gods and Goddesses, deities and saints. Everyone is right, every God is the "one" and everything you believe in that is good is great. I don't argue anyone over my views being right or wrong, and I don't push the way I believe onto someone else. Not anymore. It's just simple peace, in my head, in my heart and my soul is learning to relax daily. My nervous system has always been in a war zone, but this year it's learning to breathe, be still and become what it should have been all along- regulated, efficient, loving.

So back to religion and God. My beliefs are different than most people's. I think God is in each of us, I think Heaven and Hell are right here on Earth, and I think that many Messiah's have walked this Earth and potentially some would be considered "schizo or crazy" now in our modernized societies all over the world. I also believe in magic and things that religion, God, spirituality, science cannot explain and don't have a word for besides magic or woo-woo. You can go ahead and take me out back, hang me or stone me because I will stand by my beliefs. I feel them deeply. I feel the magic in my skin every time I hear a good song. I feel it in my hands the moment I enter a room filled with heavy energy. I feel it in my belly when someone I like looks at me in that way and compliments my existence in their life. 

So yeah, magic is everywhere. In you, in me, in them, in it. Our Creator is good all the time, magic is a big part of it. Anyway, I'm going to sign off on this short and sweet post by saying I choose to keep my childlike magic alive every day and it's a very hard job. The lack of whimsy in adulthood is disgusting and I recommend you to go outside and frolic in some grass today and see if your ass doesn't feel like magic. You can't be sad, mad, or unhappy if you're skipping. Toodles!!

Cut the shit out!

Okay..okay, let's not get too close. Please, keep a distance of 6ft. That isn't hard..it isn't science. Pretend there is a bullet coming for either of us if we stand closer than that to each other. Because there is. And that bullet is invisible and you only have a small chance of survival to begin with; it doesn't really matter if it was 20 ft long in the shape of Barney. Why? Because we, as the human race, SUCK ass! We are slowly dying off and the reason being?? We cannot follow simple rules!!!

1. Cough into your elbow- If you should just so happen to fuck up and cover your face for that enormously obnoxious sneeze with your hands, then by all means, please go wash them for more than 20 seconds (ABC's, birthday song, Cardi B "Bodak Yellow"- whatever your flavor is) or sanitize them, you lazy POS.

2. Socially Distance 6ft-  I know that you just can't resist and I completely understand, but I need you to stand back for your own safety and mine. When words come out of your mouth, it is followed by spit. I would like to not exchange any bodily fluids unless responsibly and consensually. Kthxbai. Which brings me to my next point.

3. Wear a mask- Find one, make one, buy one. Wear a bandana. You won't offend me for protecting yourself from me and me from yourself. We all appreciate that.

Yay! Epidural time. 

4. Clean and disinfect your work areas- Essentials, if you are working somewhere with the public like I am was**, please double, triple, quadruple whatever corporate cleaning is. They will do the legal minimum; we need to extend that to keep everyone safer. This is just a personal preference. I like knowing you and I are safe.

5. Educate yourself- Please read up on how Covid19 is spread, what the symptoms are, and if there is a testing center nearby. The more you know, the more you will do. I fucking hope!

6. Don't be a Dick- Yes, you have to wait in line. Yes, things are being done differently. Yes, there are changes. Stop, breathe, and ask yourself if you'd act like that with yo mama around! Stop it. You're not the only human with things to do. In fact, if you are not one of the ESSENTIALS, PLEASE GTFO of my way!

**I am currently on leave because of my use of steroids-- no worries, it's not the fun kind that will have me coming back to work looking like a Bosnian Massy Arias (no, she does not use them, I LOVE HER, please check her out). It's the kind that I need to have in order to be at a pain level zero like a whole human being, and it's also currently the one that is lowering my immune system to even below substandard use so I am prone to everything. Last time I was down for 5 days barely mobile, and 9 days sick. 

FBGM- My ideas

• Day 1- Buy car

• Day 7- Buy house

• Day 14- Open company

• Day 15- Start working more hours

• Day 20- Sign up for graduate school

• Day 30- Have a fucking panic attack

• Day 31- Keep having the same panic attack

• Month 2/ Day 2- Panic attacks galore

On female sexuality.

Sexuality- noun

- capacity for sexual feelings

- a person's sexual preference

- sexual activity

In today's age when we count everyone's good times and judge every person's notches, how much sexuality is good sexuality? How much fun time can we have before someone calls us a whore or call a man a womanizer? And the misuse of the word "whore" just pisses me off. Don't call me that; I'm not getting paid for it. Do you really think I would be on the struggle bus if that was the case? Bish, please.
We live in a world where sexuality is measured by how many partners we have, to how often we want it. So, how many people have you slept with? What is your body count? Ew. We get asked that in relationships, by our doctors, by our friends and sometimes even by family. That's too creepy.  In relationships, why does that even matter? In case you're wondering about my health, it's fine thank you, but why the fuck do you have the need to know how many people I have slept with? I'm not sure how anyone else feels about this but to me it's just one of those things to laugh off and never talk about. If you're really comfortable with the person and you don't think they will judge you or not believe you if it's low or high, go ahead. If you're really SURE. I mean if you are really, really relationship sure; this little tidbit can ruin your situation. And it's not soap- I didn't get used up. In fact, I learned tricks!

When the doctor asks you, then it's just uncomfortable. You have to remember how many partners you have, so you sit in the doctor's office imagining the face to those 4, 24, 36 or 78 guys you have slept with. Not only are you trying to put a name to a face and face to a name, now the memories flood and you sit there with A- a stupid grin or smile on your face or B- utmost disgust because of some of those memories. You then look up at the individual who is now TOTALLY judging you for the number you said. So when this happens to me, and it does every new relationship, it pisses me off. Not only do I have to relive my great, good, bad and ugly decisions, but I have to take shit from some nurse who didn't have enough balls to become a doctor or a nurse practitioner? HELL NO.

Friends will ask you and if they are anything like mine, they know it all and well, I mean ALL. Yours won't judge you unless they are that way anyway, and I'm pretty sure at this point in your friendship you know how they are. Mine are amazing. I can talk about anything with them and offer pictures. Of the guy! Not of that! Now I know my blog is R rated, but I don't go that far. :)

OhEmGee

Is it possible to run away from your own life? I feel at some point today, I have reached a breaking point. The people that have said would never hurt me, did. The people that said they would never leave, have gone. Disappointment is a part of life but it seems like that's all my life has been lately; just a serious of hope and let downs. I am a chronic worrier and I am also the one who tries to fix things. I have the best intentions, really. From this moment, that stops. I am literally all out of fucks to give. I will no longer worry about people that don't worry about me. I will not try to fix any relationships, friendships or anything unless they show effort as well. So that's my small rant for today and now for the funny parts that you all expect from me. When one more person everyone tells me I am getting "up in age and I need to settle down and get married"

When people ask me if I am "done with drinking, partying and night clubs"

When people tell me I need to get serious about my life

When I am out with my married friends and they want to go home at 12 just as everyone is coming out

When all of my younger friends are getting married and I am just over here like...

Went to a wedding this weekend and got asked when it will be my turn

Just a little somethin' for Hump Day

So, most of you that know me know that I am a safety manager at a trucking company. Just means I babysit 50+ people who should know how to do their job already but don't. I wake up in the morning at 6am and my face is legit this..

Then, I get out of bed. I come to work. I try to enjoy my day and realize that my job pays my bills, lets me live comfortably and is very easy and laid back. Going throughout my day, I sometimes check FB and when I do..

Then I see posts by my homies and I just laugh at the above and move on with my day. Because "ain't nobody got time fo' dat". 

After I get off work, I never have plans. It's like wherever the wind takes me. Basically means I have time to gym and just choose to be a lazy ass, but my day is coming y'all. If I crash on the couch, I watch my new favorite show "Sons of Anarchy" and let's be honest why all women watch it..

But fact is I really love Gemma. She is one bad ass bitch. Makes me really want to start a motorcycle gang like "Breaking Bad" made me want to cook meth. Yes, I have issues.

Today is a special day because I get to go pick up my baby and bring him home. Meet the new love of my life, Stitch. He is a 6 week old teddy bear breed and I could just eat him up.

So, instead of being single, 30 and getting a cat lady starter kit, I figured it wouldn't be as bad to be a single, (almost--Nov.26th--buy me something pretty) 29 year old with a small breed dog. 

I've had a pretty good couple of days and instead of making today's blog post about confessions or whatnot, I just wanted to make you guys smile a bit and then have to read my sappy shit about my dog and my friends.

Confess sesh

I confess I love being at the bar with my friends, playing the music we love, drinking a few beers or whatever alcohol I am feeling that night and I love all my bad decisions...

I also confess that I really have no bad decisions. Every single decision is exactly what I wanted at some point in my life. Who decides they are good or bad anyway? Society? Fuck you...

I confess that I have officially become a fat ass again and I am disgusted with myself. I, also, in the same breath can say that I am a lazy ass and I don't know which side will win. 

Now that fall is here, I am looking forward to being outside more. Shooting, camping, bonfires, boots, crisp fresh air and scarves. Those are my favorite things about fall. I don't do the lovey dovey cuddling shit unless I'm in the mood, and today ain't a good day tater. Tomorrow ain't lookin' so bright either. 

Fo' real yo.

Anyway, just a short confess sesh. If I confessed more, I'd have to kill you.

Hump Day Confessions

So I decided to just do the damn thing and do the actual blog post that was meant for hump day. Confessions or something like that. Okay, I totally confess I drink a lot and don't even care about my liver function. With drinking come new friends, old friends, sex friends, best friends, great conversations, funny experiences, jokes, bad decisions and good memories. My bartender said she put me on the liver donor list, so I'm totally good for two lifetimes. Bless her sweet soul. Don't stop the party!

...running around yesterday made me realize I need to go back to gym. My body enjoys me working out although my mind really wants to watch Netflix. I feel the sexiest when I am in the gym and I do like the way I feel leaving after a good workout.

...either that, or I need to fatten and lazy up my friends and family so they quit making me do shit. 

...I think I am somewhat allergic to bullshit. It's really refreshing to hang out with people who say exactly what is on their minds. Recently, I have been eliminating the negativity in my life and this includes anyone who causes any kind of drama...and by drama, I don't mean like normal crap that life throws our way. I mean the legit "he said she said" high school bullshit or racist, inconsiderate shit talking drama.

Tell 'em, Sweet Brown!

...and remember, tomorrow is Thirsty Thursday! Stay thirsty, my friends!

Happy Hump Day Y'all!!!