15 questions blogging challenge

Fearful? In love? Successful? In pain? Need help? If you have any questions in the world, that you could ask of an honest person with honest answers, what would you ask? If Dear Abby, Ask Amy or someone like that came to you and said "ask me and I will assist or guide and whatever," what would you say?
For the first time today, or in this week use that brain and think about one? Or two. 1-15 left

Wonderful

Life, love and everything in between

Since I wrote last, I have had a few changes in my life which I will not talk about yet, because I am seldom happy and don't really want to jinx it for myself. 

I stop to smell the roses and take pictures of sunrises and sunsets.

I listen more and talk less.

I take more breaths and think before I speak.

I aim to learn something new at least once a day.

I have more patience.

I am not selfless by any means, but do practice holding back a lot of my learned-while-single selfish tendencies.

I've realized it's not just about me anymore. It's about an us. And maybe one day..

Love really works miracles on a person. Sometimes it's unseen.

I've become closer to my family and friends. I've ditched the ones who were not fit for me. Ultimately, you choose your friends. Surrounding yourself with positive people makes you want to become positive; honestly who you hang out with, is who you become. I have started from a shell into a cocoon and trying to become a true butterfly princess. I mean, I cannot disappoint my future legacy. And, let me tell you..it will be my fairy tale. Health, happiness and success are my goals for me and my loved ones.

My friends are happy and supportive. They are crushing goals, making goals, helping me with mine. Slowly but surely 2017 is ending and everything is looking good for 2018.

So, with that being said, I would like to know about yours. Your goals, loves, hobbies, successes. All the things that made and still make your path in life; that matters to the people who love you. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." Truest words have never been more spoken. So speak to me. You remain anonymous, you can state your name, you can share only with me, but I want to know.

Oh and to speak on the furry children, as well. They are well, they are spoiled, they are laying next to me while I type this. I mean, this week they have both been lovey. It's wonderful. The happiness is addictive. It transfers to different species which is wonderful as well. 

So dreams, hobbies, hopes, wishes...? I want to know yours?? 

Email gabriela.smit1126@gmail.com

Facebook me. Linked In me. Whatever you need.

Parents

Oh you chose me. For whatever reason you chose to have me. I've often wondered why God said "Those parents!" and just handed me over. Mom, I just never could be a full girl; but as I'm finding out you're not much of one either. Dad, I am the best son you've ever had; I take care of myself and you've never really had to worry about paying for my dresses, books and college. I took care of me. You both have taught me so much and I just cannot thank you enough. It hasn't been an easy road and the fact that it's still unsure is a bit disconcerting.  There are many things you've taught me; there are many things I've had to learn on my own when I wasn't ready. I grew up fast, and hard, I learned things the hard way and I've been put through hell. You've been there times to pick me up and often, it was great timing. I didn't have to ask. I never did.  My dear parents, you tried your best. Of that, I'm pretty sure. I cannot thank you enough for being there for me when I needed you the most and when I didn't think I had it in me to keep going. For some reason, I always found my way back to you; whether it was to visit Dad back home in Croatia, move in with mom or move mom in after life decides to show its ugly side.

What we are meant to be will be.

Who did you dream of being as a child? An astronaut exploring space, a nurse wanting to save lives or a teacher who helps students get off the street? What was your ultimate success story while you were an innocent human being without knowing what troubles lie ahead?
I wanted to be a lawyer. Actually, no, let me rephrase that. My parents thought I could argue even the slightest for whatever I got in trouble for that day. They thought I should be a successful lawyer forever arguing my life away. And, so as an 11 year old little girl, I decided to look up the curriculum for a lawyer. I saw 6 years of school and thought "There is no way in hell!" Little did I know that I would grow up to love school and imagine myself as a lifetime learner. Now, if I could only get the government to grant me a career as a lifetime student. I mean, they let anyone be president nowadays. For agent orange's fan club, just *insert snarky comment and get off my blog*..for everyone else - "thank you and keep reading".
So, as I grew up I wanted to be a counselor. My 6th grade counselor Ms. E helped me so much that I would like to donate my time and sanity to some children and advise them about life. I mean all we need in life is some TLC and some time with our loved ones. When we grow up, we add people in our lives for short or long periods in. It is up to us how long they stay and often, they leave us with a companion for life or just a lesson for future experiences.
I went to college and finished for Elementary Education. I had to first teach in the state of KY as an intern and I panicked. I also had a witch for a mentor teacher and she made my life a living hell. She was also very mean to the children, including her own, but no names shall be mentioned. So, I had to teach with a mentor Satan observing me and I panicked. I signed up for graduate school now and am still searching for myself.

So, as I often ask of you, my dear readers is usually to share something about your life. No worries. You won't be public. Your answers will help me fuel more people to talk and stop using Facebook as their counseling service.

Well, The End is near. I would like to know what you wanted to be in life? Whether a mom, a sailor, or a truck driver. If you ended up being anything else, I would like to know that as well. I would even go as far as asking what your hobbies are or what you're good at? We often do not run in the directions to make our hobbies our careers, but if you have I wanna KNOOOOOW!

What we are meant to be is written in the stars and planned just for us? So that would make us puppets and regardless what choices we make, they are leading us to something regardless of what we want or what path we take? If you're Christian, you believe we are made in God's image and that we have free will. So does that mean God had depression and anxiety? That makes sense why he rested on the 7th day.

If you would like to share your religious beliefs as well, we can make that next post topic. I prefer you being honest and respectful.

Ok! The End.

Wait? You're single?

At some point in our lives do we give off a vibe that our expiration date is near and we need to settle down? Is my clock ticking my life away and I am just waiting for something perfect for me? Or is the expiration date near and it gives the okay for guys to treat you like a carton of milk? They commit to the one behind you with a day less on her spoiled stage. It seems that even my mother has a higher chance to meet someone to love than I do. This isn't really for the lack of trying, but in reality I do have a "No Loser" policy and it goes in effect once in a while.
For example, I meet one, like one, imagine our marriage, do one and never have ones time again. So meet, like, marry, fuck and kill. The five elements of any "I am thirty two years old and am starting to collect animals" club.

So, no I am not 32. I am 31 in real life, but 25 with 6 years of experience in imagination. In all reality I am a little kid who works overtime and pays bills. I pay my taxes, I'm nice to older people, I am a people person and I will probably be able to put your child to sleep. Seriously. That's wifey material right there if I ever saw it. But no, seriously. I work a lot, and the only place I would meet someone would be in gym when I go once or twice a month, or at work. I meet many people at work, but some of them are just lost causes and I can't fix any more people. I am not Red Cross and I love me more than you. I want a partner, not a lost cause, or a momma's boy. I need someone who is prepared to be ever thine, ever mine, ever ours. Gabi out.  . . . . drops mike. Literally.

FBGM- My ideas

• Day 1- Buy car

• Day 7- Buy house

• Day 14- Open company

• Day 15- Start working more hours

• Day 20- Sign up for graduate school

• Day 30- Have a fucking panic attack

• Day 31- Keep having the same panic attack

• Month 2/ Day 2- Panic attacks galore

On female sexuality.

Sexuality- noun

- capacity for sexual feelings

- a person's sexual preference

- sexual activity

In today's age when we count everyone's good times and judge every person's notches, how much sexuality is good sexuality? How much fun time can we have before someone calls us a whore or a womanizer? And the misuse of the word "whore" just pisses me off. Don't call me that; I'm not getting paid for it. Do you really think I would be on the struggle bus? Bish, please.
We live in a world where sexuality is measured by how many partners we have, to how often we want it. The second number on the list, I'm not even going to talk about. That's another story. So, how many people have you slept with? What is your number? We get asked that in relationships, by our doctors, by our friends and sometimes even by family. That's too creepy. Even in my case where my mother is one of my best friends. I think she can just assume. 
In relationships, why does that even matter? In case you're wondering about my health, it's fine thank you, but why the fuck do you have the need to know how many people I have slept with? I'm not sure how anyone else feels about this but to me it's just one of those things to laugh off and never talk about. If you're really comfortable with the person and you don't think they will judge you or not believe you if it's low or high, go ahead. If you're really SURE. I mean if you are really, really relationship sure; this little tidbit can ruin your situation.

When the doctor asks you, then it's just uncomfortable. You have to remember how many partners you have, so you sit in the doctor's office imagining the face to those 4, 24, 36 or 78 guys you have slept with. Not only are you trying to put a name to a face and face to a name, now the memories flood and you sit there with a- a stupid grin or smile on your face or b- or utmost disgust because of some of those memories. You then look up at the individual who is now TOTALLY judging you for the number you said. So when this happens to me, and it does every new relationship, it pisses me off. Not only do I have to relive my great, good, bad and ugly judgments, but I have to take shit from some nurse who didn't have enough balls to become a doctor or a nurse practitioner? HELL NO.

Friends will ask you and if they are anything like mine, they know it all and well, I mean ALL. Yours won't judge you unless they are that way anyway, and I'm pretty sure at this point of your friendship you know how they are. Mine are amazing. I can talk about anything with them and offer pictures. Of the guy! Not of that! Now I know my blog is R rated, but I don't go that far. :)

These are the days of our lives

Happy SaturYAY readers!  There is not a day more glorious than Saturday.  I tanned a little and played by the pool with my sister and her friends. It was so funny to hear 20 something year olds talk about life while you, the big sister drink in hand is contemplating how much damage your skin would get if you fell asleep drinking? I watched my all time favorite show all day, worked a little, designed a little and now I'm writing a little. I am interested in your stories as well as your questions if you have anything to ask in ways of advice, business ideas or if you just want to talk about your hobbies or ways you volunteer or give to others. I am doing a little project and would like to see who really reads this blog and what can I do for however many of you that there is. There is a tiny little spot in my black little heart that tells me to care. And I do and have. I want to help. Words are all that can give now and I read really well. Your identity will never be published, unless you want to be famous in my tiny little blogosphere. Think of my blog as a column in some wild non-existing newspaper that talks about our real life issues in real life actually by a real live person. This is just a personal project of my own. Consider it as if your little big life is my one great adventure.  Also, my dear readers, just because I am interested in you doesn't mean I won't write a little about myself in between on days when I feel like the Cat Woman I am. :) P.S. Your dearest is buying a house and is opening a little side gig. With help of many friends for editing, logo, investments, and free labor. Cause who doesn't love to work with their friends over some mimosas, pool and trees?   

Thoughts of Stitch- Day three

 He won't stop looking at me and every time I look at him, he tries to meow at me or jump like he's all that and a bag of chips. I feel like he is constantly undermining me like "Try me!"



His cockiness amazes me. He is so rude to mom, who feeds him by the way and he treats grandma like he's king of the house. He is not. I own this. And them. So, we woke up this morning at 6 am. Mommy was sweaty and woke up in a panic. She was okay a few minutes later when she walked through the hallway to let me go potty. We woke grandma up and we were all late getting ready; but we all made it on time to work. I, of course, stayed home. I'm only 2.5. So Oreo and I were finally alone. Oh, how I am going to chase the heck out of this cat. It's going to be an all day process.

It's a beautiful day outside and I think this is lunch time. Mommy is home from work!! I hope she stays. I think this is where she stays home. I'm pretty sure she isn't going anywhere because she looks exhausted.

And she is off again. I'm sure when she comes back, aunt Anna comes with her. I'll wait and see if all three come home at the same time. Oreo has been quiet but that's because he is dead asleep on the couch. He snores when he is comfortable and happy. 

Oh wait! Mommy is home! I am so excited. She let me outside and I stepped off the porch. I immediately took off after the squirrel down the road. Mom yelled and yelled, but soon I couldn't hear her anymore. By the time I came back, mom had gotten in her car and circled the block. I apparently was gone too long. 

After a while, Anna, Rachel and Dee Dee came over. They all looked so pretty; they smell amazing, too. They sat and talked for a little bit, while mommy drew a little. They had to go back to work for a little bit, but were back soon after. Mommy put on a movie, and everyone was laughing and laughing. I am so happy I can't stand it. Everyone pays attention to me, calls me cute and praises me when I do something silly. 

Mommy is getting pretty tired and I think everyone is about to leave. They're making their way outside and I am let out to pee. I can't wait to go to bed. She's exhausted and I am tired too. I just want to cuddle and sleep right next to her. Last night, I kept hearing noises and had to keep watch.

Good Night from Stitch and family.

Thoughts of Stitch- Day two

Dear friends, family, followers, etc. We woke up today just like any other day, but nicely in a comfy bed with birds chirping outside. Then like clockwork, Oreo starts meowing and 7:15 and sits directly outside of the door scratching in. Sometimes, I want to bite; I choose not to. Mom went to work and I chased Oreo all day just for payback. Mom came home for lunch for her medication and stayed to play with me and Oreo while she ate. She had work as well because she was on the phone more than she was eating. She does that sometimes most of the time. I just wish she was home more. Or work from home. At least I can cuddle when I need to. Mommy is hooooome!! Oh, hurry and open the door! YES! I love you!! So mom is happy. Really happy. Something about a house and a realtor. I wonder what that means. Grandma is home and so is Anna. Anna is sad. Mom is so excited she's anxious. She is saying something about a house. A new house; big and more room. We are going to see it.  Geez, I hate car rides. It often makes me nervous and I just need air. Aunt Anna opens the window and mom invites me into her lap and open window as well.  Well, here we are and oh my God, this is huge. I'm going to get lost. I'm walking and hellooooo stairs. I run up, lay on mom's new bed. Run downstairs, see the kitchen and the basement. Back into kitchen and oh my God, outside! The yard is so huge. There is so much room for activities. I love it!! Mooom, when can we move in?? Hello, back home. I'm going to take a nap. This is just such an exciting day.  Mom is working on the computer. I think I'm going to chew on my bone for a while and go chase Oreo a little bit. He's sleeping; maybe I can tire him out.  Bedtime is my favorite time!! Let's go, mom! Good night guys.

Thoughts of Stitch- Day one

4/28/17- 6:30 am   Today, mom woke up just like a cat. In a panic attack. But, she's so happy towards me. She lets Oreo in for a few minutes. He sleeps with us, then wakes up, and slaps me to wake up. In which he wakes Mom up and ruins her moment. Sometimes, he isn't in the room that early, and she's calm but listening through mom ears for him and his moment to be hers. When he isn't let in, sometimes I'm glad. #sorrynotsorry.
Mom got up to let me go do my business and she left the door open. I climbed down the steps and stepped to visit our next door neighboor; but before I walk over there, I'll pee on Mom's tires because she's mine. It's mine. This house is mine. I walked down the street and stopped at the home two houses down. I peed on their lawn and decided to go on. Their little dog pisses me off. He always gets me in trouble with Mom and I am not about to ask the little ass his name. Next is the nice guy that keeps his lawn well taken care of. I usually like to walk around the little bushes on the walk way, but I'll try not to pee on them. Unless someone else has, then I have to; cause it's mine. This block is mine.
I finally get to the STOP sign and I know it's red, because I've heard Mom say it before and then make that "ha" face when she remembers that I can't see colors. Especially red. The only thing I can see is the gray image on a circle plate.   
So, I STOP. And won't go further because mom is now outside whistling for me. I start walking back and pee a little here and there on random pieces of grass, and get to the next door neighbor's yard and poop right in the middle of it. Mom gripes at me, so when I'm done, I traipse to the house like a guilty kid. It's Saturday today, which means I will be in the house today with my cat, while mom goes to visit her friend. All day I get to sleep and chase the cat around as well as chew on myself and lick on myself without anyone looking. Grandma came in for a little bit then left to visit Aunt Manuela and the family.
I was left a few hours until Grandma came back, and then Mom. It's so good when everyone is here. I'm always my happiest when family is here. I can only imagine if all family...could be together.. Anyway, it's like 1am, and I am sleeping so mom is finishing this for me. She knows what to say and she knows me so well. I ESP her while I sleep and she knows it subconsciously. She looks over at me and tells me I'm beautiful. My eyes are closed and I'm really still; she doesn't know I hear her.  Anyway, good night guys and gals, I am going to sleep. More on Stitch and fam later.

Oh hello, 1:30am. Mom needs a quiet vacuum. She spilled some goldfish crumbs and I'm all over it. Now I'm going to watch some Family Guy while mom medicates and goes to bed for some cuddles. Missed her all day.  zZzZ

Sisters

So, sisters? Annoying, pretentious, troublesome, fun, soulmates, embarrassing, considerate, rude, hurtful, joyous. Right? We all have different experiences. Mine are such different ones that I honestly don't know what I would do without any one. Manuela- wonderful mom, inspiration to other women, caring sister. I've known this woman my whole life, We had it rough.; we struggled and we overcame. We grew up, grew closer and realized that we can't do without each other. Our father, our mother decided to have both; they tied us and gave us characteristics of each. I thank them. I couldn't do it without you. You have been my strength when I thought I didn't have any. You're the reason I crossed the ocean blue. Because that's what I would literally do; cross oceans for you. Please, don't ever change. Don't ever give up on your kids. They are us all over again and there will be rough times. Tetka is always here. I love you dearest sister. You are the light of my life. Anna- Oh little one, how I love you let me count the ways. You have been the most joyous, the most annoying, the most challenging and wonderful present. You are getting older and I don't know what to do with myself of both sadness and such pride. You go to school, you work hard when asked to and you pay your own way. You're also kind, generous, sometimes naive and sweet. I don't know why more people cannot have a heart like you. You have a love that is so huge, please don't try to stifle it. Your personality is getting bigger and I cannot express how thankful I am that you are growing up to be such a strong woman. Volim te do zvijezda i nazad. Casey- I sat and never got up. There is nothing you could have said that would keep me away. It was stronger than anything. Some people are just meant to be together in this mess we call life. You're my soulmate, my motivation, often my big sister and my Dear Abby. I depend on you to keep me level headed, down to Earth and able to assess a situation from both sides. There is a lot we have learned together from our family lives and opinions in general. You are broken in the ways that I can help and vice versa. We blend together and ESP each other. I don't think that I could ever thank you because often you have been the reason I have stayed in this world. I don't know whether to hit you or thank you, but I'm here. For better or worse. Because you're my half. I love your little family and that means Jason too; and I miss Barb. I remember often thinking why I don't get that worry from my own mother. I love you to the moon and back again infinite times, Kimmy- I will forever and always call you that. I will be the only one now in the world that can call you that. I miss you but I know you're near. I know you know I'm here and I cannot wait for the day we both are not so busy in our tornados to be able to get together. I am so grateful you have Aaron; and Constance and Cameron are my favorite kiddos to follow on Facebook. You have grown up into such an amazing young woman, then woman. And now you should be an inspiration to others. You have been through so much and I am so thankful I was a part of your best and worst days. I miss mom too. LYLAS! I love you all. With every ounce, inch and heartbeat of my little black heart.

Saturday

Please someone explain to me why I am up at 6:34 am on a Saturday when I can sleep until noon regardless of what I have to do today. Lately, I've been blogging in my own head at my own risk and I am not sure if you've ever done that but it looks a little like ..

So ...

Help. Me.

I need to let it out. I painted a little the other day with a friend of mine and I forgot how good that felt. I am screaming inside my own head just like the girl in my cover photo. Which reminds me, I have to change the damn name of this blog and the cover as well. Any ideas? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Work is the usual hell. Nothing new there. New things are happening though. Changes are coming and we shall see if that's great or defeating.

And I am always like....--------------->>>>>>>>

And I get a kick out of people asking me why I am still single. And then I think about every guy I talk to and I giggle. I tell them that I need someone who can handle my kind of crazy after they learn my kind of crazy and then make a grown up decision whether to handle it for a longer period of time, if not forever.

BEST RUN ON SENTENCE EVERRR! 

Just a thought. If I decided to be a boy, would you still love me? What if I lost everything and had to pull a Drake and start from the bottom. What if I had anxiety and depression but I high maintain and need you sometimes to unpack with me? What if I was okay and you were not; would I do the same for you? With my whole being.

Toodles.

Kick off Anti-Valentine's with 14 ?s

1. Something you're currently worried about? Not worried as much as annoyed by this stupid pinched nerve that I'm suffering from as a cosmic fuck you from karma because I did something naughty. That's a story for another time in another life.

2. Your opinion on cheating on people? Okay well. I have been on both sides of this. I have been cheated on and I have cheated on, and I have been the one they cheated with. It all depends on each situation although the act itself can be in many forms. It doesn't only take a sexual act to be considered cheating, in my opinion. Variances of cheating is still cheating. Either way, here's what my opinion is. It's bad. It probably will feel great. Your conscience, if you have one, will show you whose bitch you are. And if you are a good, decent or even semi okay in that you-don't-want-to-kill-anyone human , you will feel like shit. So don't feel like shit. If you're in a situation that isn't making you happy, bail. Don't cheat.
BUT here is my example...when I cheated, me and bf were already on the ends and the guy and I had a short term relationship while the bf and I were broken up and a few weeks of us getting back together. I justified it in my head, tried to improve my relationship, didn't work and moved on.  When I was cheated on, that was the most horrific pain I ever felt. He did it with his ex, made me think I was crazy and then told me over a text message while right upstairs in our apartment. How's that for brutal? When I was the one they cheated with, I was single. They pursued me. We pursued each other. It was magical and I forever would have wished he be mine until I learned he was a pure creep. It was one time. 

3. A date you recently went on? To a comedy club. Joey Diaz was there performing. We drank, we smoked, we laughed the whole night. We kissed, many times. We looked into each other's eyes. We just enjoyed each other's company. And I drove away.

4. 5 ways to win your heart? Do something spontaneous. Make my black heart smile. Bring me coffee. Bring me food. Make me try something new.

5. A picture of yourself? 

6. Your current relationship; or if single, discuss how single life is? Single. I get as much attention as a white crayon. I also get touched as much as a Christmas sweater. Life is great. It's just great. I'm great.

7. Somewhere you'd like to visit? Bora Bora.

8. Your favorite song? Nothing else matters by Metallica. November Rain by Guns N Roses, Hotel California by Eagles.

9. Your 5 senses right now? Hear- Grace and Frankie on Netlix Smell- Cigarette smoke Feel- Stitch licking me See- my hands on the keyboard Taste- Cookie Dough minis

10. What do you collect? Pens. Scars. Issues.

11. Why do you blog? Vent. Ideas. Dreams. Inspire. Make people laugh or smile.

12. A photo of your favorite place to eat? 13. Describe your day? Went in to work later, worked even later, came home and started blogging while I still had the motivation.

14. Who is your spirit animal? Snoop Dogg. And his supply of cannabis.