Relationships

I started thinking about relationships the other day. Mainly because more and more people in my life are getting engaged, getting married, having children and I am still just as obnoxious, free-spirited and drunk as I was at 21. It's not that the outside forces are influencing me but they are making me look at my life a little harder than I usually would look at it. Or at least..look at relationships.
There are relationships in your life that excite you. They make you feel free and happy. They take you to new places, new adventures, make you try new things and look at life a little differently. They often are very short encounters and don't last very long. 
Then, there are relationships that teach you things. Those are usually the close, serious relationships that last 1-3 years, maybe a little more. They often teach you the things you don't want to go through again. They teach you boundaries, expectations and compromise. They teach you sadness, heartbreak and binge drinking - this may just be for me. They teach you what kind of partner you don't want in life. There are those that bring you back to familiarity. They understand you and guide you. They lead you onto a straight path and make you aware of wrong and right. They may not excite you, but they usually set up the groundwork for an amazing friendship.

And then there is the one you have with yourself. The most fabulous and lasting one of them all.
I often wonder why I may not have someone who loves me and understands me for me. Sometimes I think that my free spirit doesn't allow me to ground myself to any one person for long periods of time. If I can find someone who loves the me that my family and friends love, well then..I would be the happiest girl in the world.

But throughout all my thinking and analytical writing..I realize why I am in a standstill in most of my romantic encounters. As Carrie Bradshaw would have put it..“I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.'”