Cue in head-nodding to go with the movie reference below. For those of you who don't know what movie this is, just click the X in the top right hand corner because you probably are too young to be here.
Alright, onto the rant. I could possibly start with the bible quote of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind bla bla bla" but we all know that the shit doesn't work that way anymore. When the Bible was written there was no Facebook, no Twitter, no other parties in the relationship, no baggage, no middle child syndrome, no cell phones and no other modern diagnoses and gadgets that generally fuck up our simple way of life. So, when you get asked "what is love", how do you answer? Do you base it on how the person makes you feel or what kind of person they are? Are you focused on talking about one person in general, or do you speak of love as a thing?
This is where I am going with this...
Many people have many definitions of what love is; no one is wrong. Maybe you think love is someone who showers you with materialistic stuff. Maybe you think love is telling the truth always and being each other's friends. Maybe you think love is sex or any kind of physical response. No one can define love because it exists in each of us differently. We show it differently, we see it differently, we respond to it differently so when we meet someone who shares our values and definition we "fall in love."
I mean, this is the way it's supposed to happen. Right? Boy meets Girl. Boy and Girl are compatible. Boy and Girl fall in love. Boy and Girl live happily ever after.
Simple, right?!
Sure..in a perfect world where we all are one color, one religion, one opinion, one nationality, one mindset. Too bad that world doesn't exist and love is not simple. It never really was; people were just more ashamed, hid things well and/or had less options.
In my general expertise of love (aka my experiences dating), love is very hard to come by. If you put two people who see love differently together, they will always be on different steps of that relationship ladder and as we all know, our generation is really good at buying new things instead of fixing the old. This applies to both people and animals, or generally any living, breathing things around us. We are ruiners, not builders. The relationships that once were two people are now 13 people, a Facebook page, a Twitter account and extra phone numbers laying around in cell phones. We're all guilty of it, myself included.
One thing I vouch: From today, I will fix it..well at least starting with myself. I will work on it. I will trust more, love more, hope more, live more, talk more and less where applies, listen more, help more, offer more, kiss more, hug more. I will not let outside influences hinder my heart.
I will not run away. No more running away.
I totally agree with you when you say that social media has completely changed the way a relationship goes.
ReplyDeleteI think one of the many reasons I love my fiance... is that he does not believe in Facebook... He doesn't think it's a good idea. He's into Reddit, and is considering a twitter... but never a Facebook account. If he wants to know something about what's going on with our friends and family... he reads over my shoulder.
He doesn't mind that he is a part of my internet world. He just doesn't want to personally put himself there.
I was going somewhere with this.
I forget.
Ugh...
OH: I also know people who live a very active relationship both on social media and together at home. They are unusual.. but they're relationship is based on TRUST... and openness.
So, it can be done.
I love that you ended this with that you had to work on you... to be better not just for someone else, but yourself.
Man..I just replied a really HUGE post and it didn't send. Anyway short and simple, with trust and communication anything is possible. If two people understand each other and know each other, no amount of FB or social media will change them.
DeleteWorking on myself- I gotta do what I gotta do. I've been through many relationships trying to put them together, make them better, make them happier and I forgot about myself.
Thanks for reading!!!
Night at the Roxbury girlfriend! And in all seriousness, yes social media has completely transformed and at times complicated relationships. "Why did you tweet that, why did you 'like' that, why did you comment on that photo from three years ago?!" EFF. Totally exhausting. I totally agree too that everyone has their own definition of love and I truly am lucky to have someone who puts up with all of my crap 24/7 baha. We communicate with each other and just get each other. :)
ReplyDeleteYes ma'am. One of my favorite movies.Social media and other situations that are so readily available do seem to complicate any and all relationships.
DeleteYou are very lucky. I thought I had someone that "got me" but it turns out I wasn't correct. In the end, I'm the only one in this shitty little town that "gets" me and I'm perfectly fine with that. I have a lot of work to do on myself, so I am a work in progress for now. I'm happy that you have someone like you do and wish you nothing but happiness in your marriage! :)