Why the best women are single

And before you get your panties in a bunch, I am not saying that I am one of the best..But I'm still single and if the shoe fits? Really bitch?..Of course I was including myself in this! I am not crazy or manic depressive or hard to please. I want nothing at some point and everything sometimes, and then I'm clingy but also want you to leave me the hell alone. I mean, not complicated at all right? Right..?
There are many reasons why you should get married. Either you've found the one, tax break, scared of being alone, visa?..just kidding Republicans, calm your tits. It's nice to share your life with someone and have someone to love and cuddle. But your relationship with yourself is exciting, fulfilling and it may help you be a better significant other. I read an article on why the best women stay single the longest and I agree with lot of the bullet points they had. I am doing my own version of this so bear with me as I collect my thoughts throughout this blog. 
Okay for one, you deserve the best guy out there for you. You are unique in your own way and you have lots of quirks that they would have to learn to deal with. I mean, you drink milk past the expiration date? That's risky and you consider yourself quite a risk taker. You're not really the conventional type. You may have tattoos, piercings, are older with no kids, and you believe in testing the car out before you commit yourself to it for 25 to life. 
You don't believe in settling. Not for a job unless it pays well, not in friendships and definitely not for a guy. You know what you want and you're not afraid to wait for that special one. You don't want to waste your time on someone who doesn't live up to your standards and you refuse to lower them. You like doing what you want and when you want it. You sleep in your own bed like a boss and love going to sleep at night knowing no one is cheating on you.
The firsts are amazing. The first date, the butterflies when you carry a conversation, the end date kiss. If you are in a relationship, you will never have a first anything anymore. You are going to be fucking the same person until you're dead and you're not sure if that freaks you out or consoles you. You aren't looking to be in the shadows of any man. You're independent, smart, sexy and the whole world is under your heels. You want to define yourself by your own accomplishments, not piggy back on anyone else's.
You make your own paper and you spend it how you like. Your wallet isn't ready to start adulting just yet. You don't have to check in with anyone on what to buy, when to be home, or who you can or cannot spend time with. The best thing about a day is that you have the freedom of not having plans. You can drop everything and travel to Vegas if you want. Your married or taken friends don't have that freedom.
So with all these reasons why I am single, I started thinking about what I wanted and what every girl might want. We want someone to tell us good morning and wish us a good day. We want someone to tell us good night. I want to miss someone and for them to miss me. I want a gentleman who opens doors for me, even when I basically run to the door. I want someone I can confide in and that I know will always tell me the truth. That's just a short list. You get the gist..
How about you? What do you want?

The dating game

All of us want someone. If you're married or taken in any way and reading this, you're probably shaking your head no because your life fucking sucks or you're shaking your head yes because your partner is actually awesome. We all want a partner or a satisfying relationship. Some of us are lazy, some of us are awkward and some of us just don't like people but we want to find our weirdo so we want to skate past the horrible dating scene, or the awkward dates and go straight to the significant other status. You know the one; Netflix, takeout, sweatpants, vacations and great sex.

As Larry David said "A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone." Dating SUCKS! No one wants to take hours to get ready, shave their legs, worry about not eating Mexican. My idea of a romantic date involves Netflix sans pants. I also worry about sharing my bed with someone because my dog sleeps with me, and he is cuddlier, so there's that. I also like my own freedom and most guys want to be up my ass. Now, don't get it twisted. I still want you to be interested enough to keep in touch every day.

I mean, okay, let's say you do spend the couple of hours to try to loosen those tight pants you can't fit into but that make your ass look great, and curl your hair so he doesn't see your cowlick. Let's say you do that. You go on the awkward date and make small talk. You don't know who is going to pay, and you will judge him a little if he lets you pay. If he kisses you or doesn't kiss you at the door, you'll wonder what's wrong with you so this is lose/lose. You will wait for him to ask you on a second date, which is complete bull. Does he like you, does he not like you? Will he text, is he waiting for you to? Shit..

There is also the next day after the date and if you like him, your brain starts overthinking in 3..2..1... If he doesn't text you, is he still into you? Maybe he wants you to be assertive and text him? If you do, will you look desperate? Say he does text you. You're all friggin' stupid happy. You trip over the dog, walk into the walls and shit at work. You read his two letter text message (ok) and you smile. But let's face it. Texting back and forth becomes nerve wracking. You're worried about your response, you're worried about sending the wrong text. The worst thing about texting is that once you send it...well God help you.

Date number two and three or maybe more have passed. Now you're in this mess, so how do you decipher if the guy likes you or not? You start overthinking every action, lack of action or any kind of silence in between. If he sleeps with you on the first date, did he lose the respect for you? If he doesn't, is he maybe not interested and just wants to be friends? Most of the people now disappear from your life without even so much as a fuck you. They won't tell you "Hey, last night was great, but I'm not attracted to you. Want to be friends instead?" Some people just want to hook up and if you're looking for more, they won't be straightforward with you until after they collect the prize. Honesty is hard to find nowadays.

So many people are scared of commitments so they want to blur the line between friendship and relationship. While that line is blurred, there is no way to know what the rules are. I, for one, am not okay with that. Are you fucking only me or..? Ya know? Too much to worry about. Some people are too much into the sexual aspect to be loyal and with the social media making temptations and opportunities to cheat so easy to find, they won't even have to leave the bed they share with you.

After you have dated this person for a while and they feel comfortable around you, their genuine self starts coming out. Everyone now is so scared to put themselves out there at the risk of sounding too nerdy, too available, too anxious, too boring, too (insert whatever adjective you want here). And if you have dated for a while, the realization that you will either get married or break up is horrible. Both are equally terrifying concepts.

So, to summarize.. dating is basically a game of "let's see who can try to act like they care less in order to get someone to care more and then take turns." It's full of games, cheaters, liars, crazies and just annoying mofos who can't take a hint. Set yourself some rules to your own dating game and take control over this shit.  -if you like someone, don't pretend you don't -don't play the "wait to text" game..no one likes to guess and assume -don't alter what you want; have high standards and expectations -tell the ugly truth. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY, tell the truth!!!

Inspiration

I am thinking it may be time for another 30 day blog challenge. I don't have the inspiration or the motivation lately to write. I am going through a lot here in the real world. I feel like I finally have my feelings on the right track with the right people. I'm more productive at work, so I am busier. I also am having health issues which I do not want to speak about just yet. No, I am not dying...not that I know of. My blog world used to be an escape but since I am kind of at a standstill, I have nothing to rant about.
I am waiting for something to inspire me in life, I guess. I feel like when women are in love, they blossom. The open up to new ideas, they become more caring and sensitive, but they also become more vulnerable. When they travel, they become more open-minded and worldly and that is a beautiful characteristic to have. I have not traveled lately and even though I am dating, I am currently not in love. So, I need to create my own inspiration. Not exactly sure where I should start. 
I will sit down and write a nice bucket list. Again. This time I am going to publish it here so you guys can keep me motivated. I would also like to ask you guys when you read this blog, to contact me. Message me, text me, email me, Facebook me, ...whatever..but I want you guys to tell me what I should add to my bucket list. Of course, I will look over every suggestion and take the ones that apply to me. For example, I have acrophobia (fear of heights) so if you tell me to get on a famous roller coaster somewhere, I probably will be unable to cross it off my list. So beauties and beasts, get on it. 

Monsters

I'm friends with the monsters that are under my bed and skeletons in my closet.. A lot of us trying to change who we really are because we don't fit society's perfect image? Who the fuck cares? Do they pay your bills? Do they feed you? Have they given birth to you or made you? Then they don't have a fucking say so in your life. The only people that should influence YOU, are the ones you LET influence you. First, you go to school, you get a job and a family, a mortgage and die. The end. Life is what happens in between those major events. But everyone seems to think that those major events have an expiration date. They don't. I don't have to get married until I'm 40. It's my choice. Only thing that I would be working on a clock with would be having children and I have plenty of good years left for that. So what the hell are you all worried about? Drying up? Dying? Well, you're heading down that road because you don't enjoy what happens in the "life" portion of your existence.You don't stop to smell the roses.  I mean we live in a world where you have to have a license to fish, but they let anyone have children. We turn on the news to watch what is happening to our country, but instead we hear about how Kim Kardashian's shoes didn't match with her purse. Oh em gee, Kim!!!Soooo, why the hell are you worried about society and their views on what we are supposed to do in our lives when these people are just about as ridiculous as we are? Secondly, I don't let anyone tell me how to live my life, but often I wonder if I went wrong somewhere. Maybe I raised myself too quickly or not fast enough but I often feel like I'm not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or something is wrong with me. I think it's me..and then I look further. Looking at where I am supposed to be "according to society" makes me sick to my stomach. If I even looked at what size my pants have to be according to society, I would downright puke. Yes, by all means, you don't want to end op on "My 600lb life" (yes, that's real..'Murica), but keep active and don't let yourself go. We have girls that starve themselves to death because they want to be models. We have movies to tell you how to feel when you fall in love.  So who the fuck cares what society tells you? Eat what you want, be who you want to be, smoke what you want to smoke, fuck whoever you want. Just one piece of advice. Don't be a total douchemonkey and don't lie to people. Don't cheat on them and don't lead them on. Everything else, carry on. P.S. Now my biggest dating dilemma is how would I expect anyone to trust me when there are 10 billion single women just like me. dressed like me, make up and hair done like me. How do I find my one in a sea of people who would rather hook up for one night than love me for a lifetime? I guess I'm going to have to kiss a lot of frogs.

When in Rome..

Back from the dead

I have taken the past month off from blogging because you, as my readers, deserve to be entertained and not depressed when you're reading my blog. I have been going through some things lately, a lot of which I wish not to talk about, but just know I am back and back for good. I am still working out the kinks in my life to truly be the woman that I wish to be. At this point in my life I am making myself my number one priority, because while I love my best friends and family, you guys can't help me with this. I have to do it all on my own. And so far, it's a damn good beginning.  P.S. I love each and every one of you deeply. Stay true to yourself. Be yourself. Be beautiful. Be a good human being. Help people. Love more. Trust more. Experience more. Take the leap. Fall in love.