Day 27: A letter to you guys, my readers

Day 27: A letter to your readers

My dear readers,

I want to let you know that I am truly grateful for every written word that you have read. It means so much to me; I can't even explain. You encourage me to write more and I hope I encourage you to seek ways to explain and communicate yourself as well. The only way in this world that we differ from animals is that we can talk. We have the ability to express ourselves, our pain, our happiness and any other emotion that we may feel. We have the ability to make the world a better place for our future generations and we have the ability to be great every single day that we wake up. 

If you guys ever decide to blog, know that you have a number one fan. Me! Let me know your link and I will read it and give you pointers. I'm not amazing at blogging like some people, but I can give you pointers. I would love it if someone paid me to drink coffee and blog from home, but we all know that will never happen. Maybe I can be a stay-at-home-mom...without the mom part. Haha who am I kidding? I'd get bored in a week after rearranging my house a bagillion times and then go out drinking.

My family doesn't really follow me on here. My older sister may have read a few, a few friends read it when I write something interesting. The few of you that read my blog religiously know parts of me that I don't tell a lot of people. That's because this blog is my cover. This blog is my safety net and also this blog stops me from smacking the shit out of people and going to jail. 

Thank you. I can never say it enough. Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading. Thank you for asking me questions, giving me things to blog about and giving me feedback.

I would also like to thank some of you for being complete and utter fucktards and giving me something to bitch about.

I love you all. <3

Day 26: I read this today and...

Day 26: Something you read online. Leave a link and discuss, if you'd like.

This is one of the best articles I have read in a really long time. I won't discuss it. I just want you guys to read it because it's in depth and it explains everything. It's also amazing and life-changing.

"The covers of most men's and women's magazines have similar headlines: "Get Great Abs" and "Have Amazing Sex."

From the looks of it, these two issues have been recycled over and over (with some other stereotypically gender-relevant articles thrown in) on every Men's Health, Maxim,Cosmopolitan and Glamour cover since the dawn of time. In fact, I'd bet that if we could get a better translation of cave drawings, they would read something like "Grok get flat belly. Make girl Grok moan with joy."

And we keep buying them. We keep buying this lie that these things will make us happy. I've had washboard abs (past tense) and I've had some pretty phenomenal sex. Neither one made me a better person. Neither one completed me or made my life more fulfilling.

We chase this idea of "I will be happy when... "

I will be happy when I have a new car. I will be happy when I get married. I will be happy when I get a better job. I will be happy when I lose five pounds. What if instead we choose to be happy -- right now?

If you can read this, your life is pretty awesome.

Setting aside our first-world problems and pettiness, if you are online reading this, you have both electricity and WiFi or access to them. Odds are you are in a shelter of some sort, or on a smart phone (and then kudos to you for reading this on the go). Life might bump and bruise us, it may not always go the way we plan and I know I get frustrated with mine, but here's the thing: You are alive.

Because you are alive, everything is possible. So about those eight tips...

1. Stop believing your bullshit.

All that stuff you tell yourself about how you are a commitment phobe or a coward or lazy or not creative or unlucky? Stop it. It's bullshit, and deep down you know it. We are all insecure 14 year olds at heart. We're all scared. We all have dreams inside of us that we've tucked away because somewhere along the line we tacked on those ideas about who we are that buried that essential brilliant, childlike sense of wonder. The more we stick to these scripts about who we are, the longer we live a fraction of the life we could be living. Let it go. Be who you are beneath the bullshit.

2. Be happy now.

Not because The Secret says so. Not because of some shiny happy Oprah crap. But because we can choose to appreciate what is in our lives instead of being angry or regretful about what we lack. It's a small, significant shift in perspective. It's easier to look at what's wrong or missing in our lives and believe that is the big picture -- but it isn't. We can choose to let the beautiful parts set the tone.

3. Look at the stars.

It won't fix the economy. It won't stop wars. It won't give you flat abs, or better sex or even help you figure out your relationship and what you want to do with your life. But it's important. It helps you remember that you and your problems are both infinitesimally small and conversely, that you are a piece of an amazing and vast universe. I do it daily -- it helps.

4. Let people in.

Truly. Tell people that you trust when you need help, or you're depressed -- or you're happy and you want to share it with them. Acknowledge that you care about them and let yourself feel it. Instead of doing that other thing we sometimes do, which is to play it cool and pretend we only care as much as the other person has admitted to caring, and only open up half way. Go all in -- it's worth it.

5. Stop with the crazy making.

I got to a friend's doorstep the other day, slightly breathless and nearly in tears after getting a little lost, physically and existentially. She asked what was wrong and I started to explain and then stopped myself and admitted, "I'm being stupid and have decided to invent lots of problems in my head." Life is full of obstacles; we don't need to create extra ones. Don't take things personally. Most of the time, other people's choices and attitudes have absolutely nothing to do with you. Unless you've been behaving like a jerk, in which case...

6. Learn to apologize.
Not the ridiculous, self-deprecating apologizing for who you are and for existing that some people seem to do (what's up with that, anyway?). The ability to sincerely apologize -- without ever interjecting the word "but" -- is an essential skill for living around other human beings. If you are going to be around other people, eventually you will need to apologize. It's an important practice.

7. Practice gratitude.

Practice it out loud to the people around you. Practice it silently when you bless your food. Practice it often. Gratitude is not a first world only virtue. I saw a photo recently, of a girl in abject poverty, surrounded by filth and destruction. Her face was completely lit up with joy and gratitude as she played with a hula hoop she'd been given. Gratitude is what makes what we have enough. Gratitude is the most basic way to connect with that sense of being an integral part of the vastness of the universe; as I mentioned with looking up at the stars, it's that sense of wonder and humility, contrasted with celebrating our connection to all of life.

8. Be kind.

Kurt Vonnegut said it best (though admittedly, and somewhat ashamedly -- I am not a Vonnegut fan): "There's only one rule that I know of, babies -- 'God damn it, you've got to be kind.'"

Kindness costs us nothing and pays exponential dividends. I can't save the whole world. I can't bring peace to Syria. I can't fix the environment or the health care system, and from the looks of it, I may end up burning my dinner.

But I can be kind.

If the biggest thing we do in life is to extend love and kindness to even one other human being, we have changed the world for the better.

That's a hell of a lot more important than flat abs in my book."

Like I said..AMAZING read!

Day 25: Let me tell you about you

Day 25: Something someone told you about yourself that you'll never forget (good or bad)

Before I was born, my mom had a neighbor who she absolutely loved. They had coffee every day. They were really good friends. Mom was pregnant at the time with me and Mira would often help out.

Then I was born. The first time Mira laid eyes on me, she studied me and my face for a while and then told my mother I was the next Socrates. My mother smiled and took the compliment, but she didn't really believe how true that was until I started speaking.

The first time mom told me this story was in Junior High when I felt different than everyone else. The girls were chasing boys, the boys were chasing the girls and all I was worried about was saving the world.

As I grew, I looked at everything with such depth. I always asked why and often researched to find the answers. My friends always knew that they could come to me with any situation because I could see both points of view and would be of great benefit with advice.

I often bear the burden of being a thinker. Sometimes it would just be easier to be stupid. It would be easier to watch the news and go along with any bullshit the government feeds us. It would be easier to be in relationships, to hear the lies and deceit and still believe that person. It would be easier to manage friendships and to have a job. Life is much easier when you're stupid; ignorance is bliss.


I believe that woman cursed me. May she rest in peace.

Day 24: Worst traits

Day 24: Your top 3 worst traits

As much as I don't really want to blog today...Here it is.

1. Stubbornness (ask my mother)
2. Indecisiveness (just ask where I want to eat and you'll see)
3. Understanding (I've been understanding for far too long and the only person that ever gets hurts by it, is me. Sometimes I'd like to just say "I don't fucking care about your problems" and be selfish..too bad that's not who I am)

Short but sweet day. I have many bad traits and every single one I know and acknowledge. I am not afraid of my own shadow. I am able to admit my bad qualities and live with them. I don't have anything to hide. Ever.

Day 23: School doesn't teach

Day 23: Things you've learned that school won't teach you

School will teach you how to read and write but will not teach you to understand.

School will teach you how to share your crayons and work in a group, but will not teach you compassion and caring.

School will teach you what to do in your career, but it will not teach you how to keep a job.

School doesn't teach you how to party, how to love, how to cure a broken heart or even how to not freak out when something goes wrong with your car.

I've learned how to be tolerant of others even when they dry hump my last nerve. I've learned how to speak my mind and develop my own individual style. I've learned that high school and college are nothing like real life. I've learned the world is really as cold as we all think it is. I've learned that people deal with tough situations every day. I've learned that after a fall, sometimes you gotta stay down until you are ready to stand up again. I've learned motivational quotes are just words until you give them power. I've learned the only person that will never betray you doesn't exist; even the person in the mirror gives up on you sometimes.


I've learned how to live for myself; how to provide for, nurture and take care of me.

Life isn't a race. There isn't a number one spot. Slow down, breathe and take everything day by day, moment by moment. Don't worry about the past. It's already gone. Don't worry about the future. It hasn't even come here yet. Worry about today.


Thanks, Day 23. I wish you could do magic things like erase people from my life.