Life, love and everything in between
Since I wrote last, I have had a few changes in my life which I will not talk about yet, because I am seldom happy and don't really want to jinx it for myself. I stop to smell the roses and take pictures of sunrises and sunsets.I listen more and talk less.I take more breaths and think before I speak.I aim to learn something new at least once a day.I have more patience.I am not selfless by any means, but do practice holding back a lot of my learned while single selfish tendencies.I've realized it's not just about me anymore. It's about an us. And maybe one day..True love really works miracles on a person. Sometimes it's unseen.
I've become closer to my family and friends. I've ditched the ones who were not fit for me. Ultimately, you choose your friends. Surrounding yourself with positive people makes you want to become positive; honestly who you hang out with, is who you become. I have started from a shell into a cocoon an…


Oh you chose me. For whatever reason you chose to have me. I've often wondered why God said "Those parents!" and just handed me over. Mom, I just never could be a full girl; but as I'm finding out you're not much of one either. Dad, I am the best son you've ever had; I take care of myself and you've never really had to worry about paying for my dresses, books and college. I took care of me. You both have taught me so much and I just cannot thank you enough. It hasn't been an easy road and the fact that it's still unsure is a bit disconcerting.  There are many things you've taught me; there are many things I've had to learn on my own when I wasn't ready. I grew up fast, and hard, I learned things the hard way and I've been put through hell. You've been there times to pick me up and often, it was great timing. I didn't have to ask. I never did.  My dear parents, you tried your best. Of that, I'm pretty sure. I cannot tha…

What we are meant to be will be.

Who did you dream of being as a child? An astronaut exploring space, a nurse wanting to save lives or a teacher who helps students get off the street? What was your ultimate success story while you were an innocent human being without knowing what troubles lie ahead?
I wanted to be a lawyer. Actually, no, let me rephrase that. My parents thought I could argue even the slightest for whatever I got in trouble for that day. They thought I should be a successful lawyer forever arguing my life away. And, so as an 11 year old little girl, I decided to look up the curriculum for a lawyer. I saw 6 years of school and thought "There is no way in hell!" Little did I know that I would grow up to love school and imagine myself as a lifetime learner. Now, if I could only get the government to grant me a career as a lifetime student. I mean, they let anyone be president nowadays. For agent orange's fan club, just *insert snarky comment and get off my blog*..for everyone else - "…

Wait? You're single?

At some point in our lives do we give off a vibe that our expiration date is near and we need to settle down? Is my clock ticking my life away and I am just waiting for something perfect for me? Or is the expiration date near and it gives the okay for guys to treat you like a carton of milk? They commit to the one behind you with a day less on her spoiled stage. It seems that even my mother has a higher chance to meet someone to love than I do. This isn't really for the lack of trying, but in reality I do have a "No Loser" policy and it goes in effect once in a while.
For example, I meet one, like one, imagine our marriage, do one and never have ones time again. So meet, like, marry, fuck and kill. The five elements of any "I am thirty two years old and am starting to collect animals" club.

So, no I am not 32. I am 31 in real life, but 25 with 6 years of experience in imagination. In all reality I am a little kid who works overtime and pays bills. I pay my tax…

FBGM- My ideas

Day 1- Buy carDay 7- Buy houseDay 14- Open companyDay 15- Start working more hoursDay 20- Sign up for graduate schoolDay 30- Have a fucking panic attackDay 31- Keep having the same panic attackMonth 2/ Day 2- Panic attacks galore

On female sexuality.

Sexuality- noun - capacity for sexual feelings - a person's sexual preference - sexual activity
In today's age when we count everyone's good times and judge every person's notches, how much sexuality is good sexuality? How much fun time can we have before someone calls us a whore or a womanizer? And the misuse of the word "whore" just pisses me off. Don't call me that; I'm not getting paid for it. Do you really think I would be on the struggle bus? Bish, please.
We live in a world where sexuality is measured by how many partners we have, to how often we want it. The second number on the list, I'm not even going to talk about. That's another story. So, how many people have you slept with? What is your number? We get asked that in relationships, by our doctors, by our friends and sometimes even by family. That's too creepy. Even in my case where my mother is one of my best friends. I think she can just assume. 
In relationships, why does that eve…

These are the days of our lives

Happy SaturYAY readers!  There is not a day more glorious than Saturday.  I tanned a little and played by the pool with my sister and her friends. It was so funny to hear 20 something year olds talk about life while you, the big sister drink in hand is contemplating how much damage your skin would get if you fell asleep drinking? I watched my all time favorite show all day, worked a little, designed a little and now I'm writing a little. I am interested in your stories as well as your questions if you have anything to ask in ways of advice, business ideas or if you just want to talk about your hobbies or ways you volunteer or give to others. I am doing a little project and would like to see who really reads this blog and what can I do for however many of you that there is. There is a tiny little spot in my black little heart that tells me to care. And I do and have. I want to help. Words are all that can give now and I read really well. Your identity will never be published, unle…