This wand business

I have never ever been a beauty queen. Or claimed to be one. I was always more of a sweatpants-hair tied-no make up-but I got 20 minutes of extra sleep-girl. Sleep is very important folks, both for my skin and my no maintenance personality. 

I always envied the girls I saw in high school, and in college that looked like they got up 3 hours early just to wash their dry, blow dry it, straighten/curl it, tease it, put make up on, find a fashion designer, get their outfit made, find shoes to go with it, match perfect accessories with their outfit and voila. Beauty queens. They were the Regina Georges, I was Cady Heron before the makeover. (Mean Girl reference..people, get with the prog.)
Anyway..Now, it's my time bitches. I had a coworker tell me about her curling wand and I never really paid any attention to her until she came into the office at 7am with her hair curly, her make up intact while I looked like a wildebeest. I'll admit, I was bash her in the head type a little jealous. I asked for pointers because it looked like she spent hours on it when she assured me her long, thin hair took only 5-10 minutes of her time.
So I decided to order one and try it. HOLY SHIT PEOPLE! This is serious business. My hair is long, and it's semi thick because I am balding (insert any old hag joke here), but it literally took me 10 minutes to do my whole hair and apply my makeup this morning. I am in love. I thought I would never utter those words to any beauty product..because let's face it, I was never going to fucking waste my sleep..but, but FOR CEREAL, I am in love.

I mean aren't those curls uh-may-zing?! Yes, I am such a dork but I am so friggin' excited about this development in my life. All you heifers are getting married and having babies. I'm over here like check out my push-ups, look at my curls and check out my pics while I travel the world, bitch.

Toodles!